Thoughts 3/2/2010

Though as I progress in blogging I expect to cover current topics, I think readers should know something about why I think like I think and write like I write. That brings me to something I mentioned in yesterdays entry -watching TV with the sound off.

In recent years (5 or so) I've had some medical issues requiring heavy medication. For some reason, which I've narrowed down to be a side effect of that medication, I find that certain sounds, and especially TV sound, are painfully irritating to my ears. Thus, for quite some time I've left the sound off while watching most TV. Now, considering what I generally view, watching TV soundlessly is not as bad as it sounds (figure that one out). Mostly reruns of Law & Order, Law & Order SVU, movies I've seen twenty or more times each. A couple of cooking shows. So, what am I missing by sitting there in silence? Not much, I don't think. I also know most of the scripts by heart anyway. And, as far as watching the news goes, the crawlers tell you whatever you need to know and listening to the average TV newshead forces you to turn the sound off anyway, so that takes care of that. Lastly, there are the commercials.

I can't put into words how much I despise having to watch some clown destroy a tomato by dropping it into a machine, slamming a plunger with a karate blow that could kill an elephant and watching the fruit divide into four hundred perfect pieces. I know if I ordered that machine, first shot out of the box I'd break my hand, shatter my counter top and turn the tomato into soup. Then it would take me four days to clean the machine, the kitchen walls and the sink. Tomato stains are horrid.

Worst of all, I pay for my TV service. So, it costs me megabucks a month for the right to watch hucksters peddle cars, insurance (what's with that little green worm, salamander, or skinny frog all about anyway? What does a frog have that's insurable? Maybe I'll actually listen to that one some time and find out) toothpaste and investment scams. Would anyone really run out to a dealer and buy a car because some celebrity hawks the auto? Tiger's the spokesman for Buick I think, so why does he drive Cadillac SUV's into trees? Is he trying to denigrate Buick's competition? And then there's Toyota. They spend billions promoting vehicles that are no doubt among the best in the world on the road. Of course, if you need to stop anywhere along the way, you might have a little problem.

Needless to say, I probably hold the world's record for channel-changing speed when commercials air. If not, I'll keep on trying. Most often, I try to find a movie on a commercial-free network as an alternative to switch to when an ad appears. If the movies a good one, sometimes I don't even bother to go back to whatever I was watching before the commercials started.

In case you're wondering what others do in my house should they want the sound on, the answer is earphones. I turn mine off during commercials, or most often, don't even bother putting them on to begin with. This way, my wife or whoever can listen through their own headset as long and as loud as they choose. The only program I can think of that really requires sound is Jeopardy, anyway. I suppose I could set up closed-caption, but I doubt that would be the same as Alex and his answers in real life.

I could go on with this subject for a while, because there are lots of issues regarding commercial TV. But I'll save them for some other times. Right now, I'd like to address my first steps down the road to watching TV in silence.

As I already stated, I rarely listen to TV sound today for reasons mentioned above. But, I've had lots of prior experience, particularly in the area of sports. The first time I turned my TV's sound off was many, many years ago and I remember the reason well. The reason's name was: Howard Cosell. Cosell was a sports broadcaster whose voice was a cross between sandpaper scrapes and a screeching tire braking on wet pavement. His voice however, was what it was. I doubt there was much he could about how he sounded. On the other hand, however, he certainly could have controlled what he said with that voice. And, there was the rub.

It seems that this former attorney from Brooklyn, who appeared to have less athletic ability than a tree stump, ordained himself the oracle of sports. He knew, according to himself, more about sports that any of those lowly grubs who unfortunately had to play in the games. And, not only did Cosell believe he knew more about sports than the professional practitioners, he took every opportunity to tell them so. Anyway, somehow or other this guy winds up in the broadcast booth on Monday Night Football, sitting there with two all-star former players, and telling them what the game is all about. When they disagreed for any reason, Cosell's response was something like "Well, what would you expect from a dumb jock. I actually attended classes in college."

For me, about twenty minutes of Cosell was enough. I turned off the TV sound and turned on the radio. It was then that I learned that, not only were the guys on the radio better broadcasters, I got a better perspective of the game. I assume I'm not the only guy who did this by a long shot, because sometime later the TV broadcasters inserted a delay in transmission, so that the radio play-by-play was out of synch with the action. I guess they hoped to frustrate their viewers into turning the TV sound back on. As for me, I've never listened to TV football announcers since Cosell, and don't plan to. Reading my own stuff back now, it seems to me now that Cosell may have single-handedly revived the radio business.

Aside from football, and whatever else Cosell blabbered about, I think the biggest thing for him was when he came across Cassius Clay who became Muhammad Ali, World Champion boxer. Cosell followed Ali around like a Cocker Spaniel and stuck to him like glue. I imagine that if Ali ever stopped short, Cosell would have come out of Ali's navel. My best guess is that Ali tolerated Cosell because Cosell made him laugh. I doubt Ali cared a whit about Cosell's opinions, but I would truly would have enjoyed watching the two of them spar. Cosell though, would never stoop to stepping into the ring, that was for thugs and brawlers. The true sportsman sits on the sideline and critiques. After all, it's the broadcaster that has all the knowledge.

That's the blog for today. With any luck, there'll be more tomorrow.

Adios, MB