Monday, May 17, 2010

BloggeRhythms 5/19/2010

Sometimes background information helps understanding particular entries. Today's preamble appeared a couple of days ago, about a "temporary" manager I'd once had named Dick.

He was the guy who liked to call me on a WATS line amplified through speakers permitting others, wanted or not, to listen in. The previous entry explains why that system was used, or perhaps you remember the story.

In any case, cost-effective Dick employed the WATS line for just about everything telephonic, contending that no matter what the subject was, the cheapest phone costs were his goal because he was driven by the "bottom-line."

Now, at that time I read the Wall Street Journal whenever I could because it always contained invaluable information. Company's relocating perhaps, planning new products, opening more sites, maybe hiring more people. Indications of growth. Whatever the case, the Journal provided goldmines of opportunity for company's like us in the equipment financing business.

Shortly, I realized the best way to obtain the paper was simply to subscribe. Then, after reading an issue I'd circulate it to other sales personnel in the building. Some time later, it dawned on me that the major beneficiary of the Journal was actually my employer, because of the additional business conducted. That being the case, I put the subscription cost on my reimbursable expenses account.

One morning later that week, Dick's stentorian tones boomed out of the WATS line speakers, seeking my presence on the line. When I responded, diligent Dick intoned that he'd reviewed my latest Expense Account and found that I was seeking repayment for money spent on reading matter. "If we consent to something like that, the next thing you know our organization will be paying for Playboy. So, I'm not approving a cent of this expenditure."

After I dutifully explained the value of the WSJ, going on to suggest he read it himself to learn its worth, he changed his approach. "Michael," he said, "there's a story about a salesman who was asked by his boss to run an errand due to an emergency."

Then penny-wise Dick went on to tell me about how the salesman lost his new, quite expensive fedora while performing the requested task for his boss. When the salesman sought reimbursement for his loss, the boss said, "Don't be ridiculous, our company doesn't buy salesman's hats." This enraged the employee, because after all, he was doing his employer a favor. And it was the employer's panic really causing the loss in the first place. So, the employee vowed to himself to recapture the cost in another way. From then on, he added a few unnoticeable amounts to various absolutely valid reimbursable expenditures. And in that way, in time, the employee eventually recovered the cost of his lost chapeau.

We were still on the WATS line while Dick told me this tale, and when he finished he asked me if I'd heard his message. I replied that, yes indeed I'd heard the story clearly, as had who knew how many others. After all, it had been imparted on a mic'd-up WATS line, loudly, through very large and first class speakers. "No, no," he said, "that's not what I meant. I want to know if you understand the meaning of the story. And what to do next about your Journal subscription."

I answered that although I'd absolutely heard the story, every word in fact, I wasn't exactly sure how it applied to me. Dick drew in an audible breath, then sighed an audible sign, both clearly done in frustration, and then said something like, " Okay, Michael. Let's try it again."

Still sitting by his microphone, Dick began imparting his story once more. Only this time, to insure his message being understood, he spoke much more slowly, stating each word precisely as if addressing someone learning-disabled, or perhaps, a recalcitrant child.

Now, listening to about half of droning-Dick's first sentence, realizing the reiteration would go on for quite a while, I silently backed away from the microphone on our Customer Service desk, then quietly opened the front door, left the building and drove off to call on a client.

When I returned later that day, I was met with a smattering of dignified applause. Because Dick had no idea that I'd left the premises, he was three hundred miles or so north in New England. Thus he'd slowly completed the whole story again, this time enunciating each word and phrase precisely as he was able, without a pause. And it seems the folks on my end had taken an empty waste can and covered our microphone to avoid Dick's hearing the click had they shut the microphone off.

All in all, the majority felt that Dick's second rendition of his tale was better than the first. Because in the painstaking, drawn out attempt to articulate his message clearly he'd apparently been very amusing. In fact, that's why they'd covered the microphone, to avoid their titters of laughter being heard. Dick didn't know that he'd been entertaining of course, being funny was surely nowhere in his agenda or plan. But the general conclusion reached was that listening to Dick's loud intonation was less boring than working, so that's what they'd all done.

Of course, the WATS lines themselves couldn't be used for anything else, while Dick tied them up for half a morning to save the organization the couple of bucks the WSJ had cost. And the employees certainly couldn't work if they didn't know what customers wanted because he'd overtaken a major resource for interoffice communication.

After hearing their story, I asked what he did when he realized I wasn't even there. They replied that they were absolutely sure he didn't know I'd left the building, because when he finished his lengthy reiteration, he again asked if I'd understood the message this time. Because he'd said, he'd tried his very best to be instructive. When I didn't answer, he spoke again, this time asking why I hadn't replied to his query. Then he asked once more. Still getting no answer he'd slammed what sounded like his fist on the desk, blurted "This Goddamn microphone doesn't work" and then, his voice simply disappeared completely.

That's it for today folks.

Adios

No comments:

Post a Comment