Sunday, April 5, 2020


Whereas most intelligent individuals have quarantined themselves in an effort to minimize the effects of Covid 19 as best they can, thankfully some of my friends have retained their senses of humor. Here's a few items they've either sent or posted.

"A blonde teenager, wanting to earn some extra money for the summer, decided to hire herself out as a "handy-woman"

She started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house, and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do.

"Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint my porch," he said, "How much will you charge me?"

Delighted, the girl quickly responded, "How about $50?"

The man agreed and told her that the paint brushes and everything she would need was in the garage.

The man's wife, hearing the conversation said to her husband, "Does she realize that our porch goes ALL the way around the house?"

He responded, "That's a bit cynical, isn't it?"

The wife replied, "You're right. I guess I'm starting to believe all those dumb blonde jokes we've been getting by email lately."

Later that day, the blonde teenager came to the door to collect her money.

"You're finished already?" the startled husband asked.

"Yes, she replied, and I even had paint left over, so I gave it two coats." 

Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50.00 and handed it to her along with a $10.00 tip.

“And, by the way," the teenager added, "it's not a Porch, it's a Lexus."

Then there was this one, posted by another friend:

"WTH is wrong with people?

Just went to the Shop Rite for a couple of essentials. I’m standing there looking in the freezer section, and this absolute idiot comes up behind me and starts TAPPING on my shoulder. I tried to ignore him, and hoped he would just go away, but the fool just keeps tapping and tapping and then...

THIS is where it gets interesting!!

So the idiot kept tapping .... See More

And finally:

"English Spelling I never knew this.

Did you know "listen" and "silent" use the same letters?

Do you also know that the words "race car" spelled back-wards still
spells "race car?"

And that "eat" is the only word that if you take the first letter and move it to the last, it spells its past tense "ate"?

And have you noticed if you rearrange the letters in "illegal immigrants", and add just a few more letters, it spells: "Go home you free-loading, benefit-grabbing, resource-sucking, baby-making, non-English-speaking assholes and take those other hairy-faced, sandal-wearing, bomb-making, camel-riding, goat-shagging, raggedy-ass bastards with you.”

How weird is that? English really is a strange and wonderful language, isn't it?"

Hope the items provided some smiles in these stressful, trying times.

That's it for today folks.


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